i felt like we were having sex on ultimate fighter, and people on the outside kept yelling ELBOW ELBOW! KNEES KNEES!
Maybe she gives good head
A girl who still calls a dick a "wiener"cannot possibly give good head
Omg. Budweiser tramp-stamp sighting @ Wal-mart. Best tattoo EVAR.
the pizza man had no reaction when jackie and me opened the door naked, i guess he's used to that shit
i just know my balls have never hurt this bad before
before you smothered your pizza in mayo you blotted it with a napkin saying you were trying to watch your fat intake
Taking jello shots out of a big bowl from a measuring spoon. holla atcha boy.
I JUST SHOOK HIS GRANDMOTHER'S HAND. WITH COCK HANDS. THIS IS NOT FUNNY.
Do you know why I have a burn shaped like a tiny spork?
My hair is crimped, I am walking with a roadie, and my vibrator is in my purse. I feel sorry for tomorrow.
classified somewhere between kinky and medically inadvisable
You've changed since you got that strap on
Dude, my vagina feels like new again! I love antibiotics. How's your day?
It was the scariest thing ever having a flame that close to my balls...
My life is just a trash fire of work and Japanese video games now
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