CONQUERED: Sean from next door. Just wanted to let you know ;)
How many people did you send this to?
So I've officially decided that I AM that drunken mistake that girls hate themselves for in the morning.
so he just called his new girlfriend by my name and she was too drunk to even notice how awkward..
my mom took me to a gay bar and went on and on about all her good times at clubs... i now know where i get it
Do you think he woke up this morning, looked at you, and then regretted everything?
he is allergic to cats. we can only glue dog hair on him. otherwise he might die and i dont want to be responsible for that.
ahaha ok
let's call it "werewolfing"
Turns out lunch break sex with someone you cant stand being around for any amount of time just makes you wish you had gone to get tacos like you originally planed.
A valentines day commercial would come on while I'm masturbating...
It's that whole "half Japanese, half asshole" thing. My brother and I have found that people really go for that
I have so many plans for this weekend and sobriety is not invited.
Despite popular belief cocaine is not a good pre-workout
I'm just gonna put on a documentary and throw up
Let's go buy marshmallows and play chubby bunny until we feel alive again
Instead of going to my moms birthday party I went over and gave him head. I should win non girlfriend of the year award
I always know im high when I can't remember how to pee.
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