tfor prom could you pick me up wo bottles of champagne and a condom, please?
rhymes with "ouble enetration"
no matter how many times i close my eyes and hit ignore on my phone. i must remind myself shit i still have to see her at work
And then he asked the cop "shall i shut off the lady gaga?" as he was being frisked.
Let's just say for some reason we thought it was okay to make a burrito smoothie.
so the plumber came, he found condoms, feathers and glitter in the pipes.
Thank you, I really appreciate that. I know I couldn't participate in class tonight and I hope that doesn't affect my grade too much. So please let me know of any extra credit opportunities such as fellatio
I didn't want to walk to anymore parties because I found a cat. It was magical.
Take a good hard look at your life. And the number of 18-20 year olds that you have made out with in the last 6 months... and then keep doing whatever the fuck you want.
Our motto for the night: BLACK OUT OR BACK OUT.
That's our motto every night.
It's like my uterus was saying, "hey, you're not pregnant, but imagine if you were!"
I asked Tony because I knew he wouldn't give me a lecture about consequences
???? Tony IS a lecture about consequences
I had sex upstairs in my parents house, and my mom texted me and said "those raccoons are out of control in the walls."
last time we were there you stole a tap from the toilets. How are you confused that your bag is full of baubles you clearly can't stop collecting their furnishings
we are not getting arrested this weekend. I don't care who I have to blow its just not happening.
Randomize
