I'm trying to bond with my sister... Its like getting to know a person I never met that I don't like
I just sold weed to a guy holding a baby...does this make me a bad person?
we decided it was best to cut you off after we caught you trying to "baptize" my cat in the jungle juice
LOVE ME LIKE A KANGARO LOVES A POUCH YOU DUMB CUNT
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So I'm drinking wine and watching Thumbelina
I'm teaching my cat to play fetch
Yep, it's a friday
It was like giving head to a cactus.
I just had sex with the megalodon show on in the background and it was just as magical as it sounds
I just instagramed a picture of an ostrich in case you were wondering what I did with my night
There is a guy in class using a wine bottle as a water bottle. Welcome to the Faculty of Environment.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I have an interview tomorrow and listed you as a reference. If they call you, please don't tell them about the time I smuggled a Chalupa out of Taco Bell in my underwear.
I went 670% over budget on my vacation. My accountant would flip if he weren't me.
How the fuck do you have so much free time?
Polyphasic sleep schedule.
Per my usual Thursday, I blacked out and slept on the stairs.
I'm a lady. Ladies do NOT hump the floor.
Just ate 2 pieces of pizza in the shower.. New low or fuckin brilliant??
Just because you haven’t had your UTI yet doesn’t mean you have a right to talk like Yoda
Randomize