Hurry. And bring back up. SHE WON'T STOP TALKING.
State Street has never looked so beautiful than during my walk of shame.
Avril Lavigne as a judge on Idol wearing devil ears. it's like every boner you ever had in 2002 just came true.
i wanted to tell my neighbors to shut up it was 4am, but listening to her rag on him for his minute man routine was actually entertaining
I made her cum... she sounded like Ray Romano
So many bounce houses so little time
theres still like 7 beers in the gutter from the roof party we had last night. i dont know how we got up there. but we need to get those beers down.
Stumbled into class and into a desk. When I fell my bottle broke in my backpack. I had to leave there was vodka everywhere.
Well, they emptied out the keg by the third kegstand for America.
I bet Billy Ray Cyrus wishes he had pulled out now....
I mean, he's 40, foreign, artsy but with substance abuse problems and estranged children. How is he not my type?
Nana saw my nipple rings & made me watch Joel Osteen all morning
It's a sad day when ur phone automatically updates u on Thursdays that traffic is normal and how long it will take to get to the bar
That's fucking great actually
wait you fucked a guy who wears k-swiss? seriously?
I know, im living my 7th grade dream
HEY I WILL KIDNAP THE FUCK OUT OF YOUR PET GOAT
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