you want me
i'd rather choke on a dick.
We were done making out and had been asleep for a hour. I felt him put his hand on my butt. Then I farted.
well, atleast the road to alcoholism is fun.
You taught me that having a dip while u shit is awesome. I appreciate u for that
my co-worker, his best friend who also works with us, an my baby daddy, ive turned love triangle into a retarded shape with to many sides to pronounce
You would be too ashamed to ever love me again if you saw the filth I just created. It brings unspeakable dishonor to the nacho dynasty. Like I raped the king's daughter, cut off her hands and made him eat them that's how hard I fucked up nachos.
I think I may have walked up to her while she was with her friends and asked for a "do over".
Look. I've got things to do today.. Will you hurry up and come over so I can give you some head and get my day started already
Outside
I walked into my house with my pants inside out, no shoes and a limp. My mom asked me if I had fun but I passed out before I could reply...
Dude...I slept walked to the free condom bin in the lounge last night. I don't know why.
Didn't have the heart to tell him that while he was eating my ass I was laughing, not moaning, into the pillow
New low: uploading my contacts into Facebook in an attempt to get the name of the girl I brought home last night.
Im wearing black today mourning the orgasm i couldn't get this morning :(
easy for you to say. you're not the one who has to explain why you woke up with a pineapple and a used condom.
Guy peeing and puking at the same time in the women's restroom? So impressed that I can't be offended
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