what's Bukake?
a bad idea.
dude your girlfriend loves you alot..she yelled your name lastnight in bed
I just gave some chick my debit card to put in the jukebox. She better put out.
apparently, i ordered a pogo stick last night. i can't even be mad about that.
Just jerked off to Cameron Diaz in "My Sister's Keeper". New low.
I was born in the year of the cock... How fitting.
I will always remember that night by waking up in that tablecloth the next morning
I'm ordering a large vanilla ice cream with rainbow sprinkles so when I vom tonight it will look like lisa frank dolphins in acid trip colors
ok it turns out chain mail does not protect against falling down a flight of stairs. please send help.
I know now that the cab driver can get me a 10 dollar blow job. I'm practically a local.
This time last year I was crying in a church parking lot without shoes or a bra, so the years can only go up from here
I like that you use a Disney movie to describe the starting of our BDSM relationship, lmao
Just once I'd like to go out and not have to tell you to put your pants back on.
i can't believe i helped you shave your back last night, and she still didn't sleep with you.
Certain restrictions may apply. Common side effects of sex with me include unbridled joy, a healthy glow, soreness and the inability to walk for short to long amounts of time. If any of these side effects occur please consult your physician, so he/she can prescribe me a "high-five".
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