Just ran to the store on my way to the office to buy Diet Coke...the guy in front of me let me cut because it was 4 more minutes until 8am, so he wouldn't be able to purchase his vodka. I love Wisconsin
apparently the 911 operator took drunk dialing waaayy too seriously
i just traded a sweatshirt for margaritas... why did they ever stop using the barter system??!!
I just got home. Seriously all I remember is taking out my contacts and putting your balls in my mouth.
my mom used to put diet coke in my bottle. i can pretty much handle anything.
Apparently I was the fucked up drunk guy greeting people at the hotel in the lobby last night.
he slipped a picture of a kangaroo under my door that said "im sorry" on the back and passed out on my lawn.. who the fuck is this kid?
Your penis chewing exercise is not working
I don't think we had sex because when I woke up he was still wearing the chicken suit.
I blew him and did charles barkley impressions at the same time. what a pro
At what point does "I'm too high to deal with you right now" stop being rude?
You know our reunion in two weeks shall be a drunken bikini clad magical adventure right
Just walked in and got handed a drink. Good service
this is a PSA to never have sex in a bed from ikea
How do you explain to your parents that you can't go to the library because you got banned for being drunk in there... on a Sunday afternoon?
That's $100,000 of quality education right there.
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