I think I'm maturing; i was gonna watch porn and then take a nap but i motivated myself to put my laundry in first.
Something growled at me in your dark backyard last nt. Hoping it was my landwalking laser sharks and not Andy.
we've already established he's totally wasted. but now he's just sitting at his computer, doing i don't know what, and he keeps saying "dammmn girl" in a really low whisper
Maid of honor is brides sister and single. Likes lemondrops. You're welcome.
Thanks for putting pants on me last night. And for calling me a princess.
Today my mom told me "that's what worries me about you getting blacked out drunk... You don't look pretty"
in my defence, i did try to get you to put your shirt back on, then you screamed at me to stop telling you what to do
He's only a freshman and he needs to expirence shit like that..
YOU would be the Freshman Expirence
The Vegas crew is in two groups, Team Vodka and Team Fireball. There is no winner in this.
Fingerblasting some girl on the deck tryna get her to fuck on a lifeboat
I snapchatted his face mid sex. Needless to say, I don't think I'll ever see him again.
If a marine in My bed is not considered a valid excuse for missing class then I don't want to live in America anymore
If last night was a preview of 2015, I quit.
I put purple lights under my bed and asked him if he wanted to fuck in a spaceship.
I just put on my bra while peeing. I fear this will be my big achievement of the day.
Randomize
