She really thought E.D. was a sexually position.
You were playing beer pong by yourself. Finally someone took the ball and threw it into the bonfire. You sat by it, cried, and contemplated how to get it out. For 45 minutes.
in the past 3 nights i've fucked a millionaire, a drug dealer and a civil engineer... i dont really have a "type" anymore
I figure a girl that drinks as much as I do should always have pregnancy tests on hand
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Walking into the first day of college is like walking into a meat market. A meat market of sex.
I also just told a guy I was available for counseling in case he needed to 'bang' things out. I've become a monster.
I picked up the bartender so he could open the bar early and ended up with him giving me a ride home when he closed. I like snowdays and everything, but they get really expensive. Also, I think I threw up on his front door. Not checking.
I'm turning twenty & the only honorable way to exit my teens is by slapping the fuck outta the bag. You better be in.
do you think me going to the gyno dressed as a cat is inappropriate?
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Getting drunk in an Applebee's pray for me
Lord god protect this child
Like its not even midnight and I've already had enough of her for all of 2015
Go have sex with him right now! Drunk sex is the best sex.
I know but these gold fish are so much better
I'm pretty sure the cop knew you were drunk when you tried to light your cigg with a chapstick.
I told him I might be pregnant and he said he'd buy me a test and a twix bar. I'm marrying him. Tomorrow.
her idea of a romantic time is a bottle of jager, some Guacamole and chips.
can't go wrong with guac.
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