White coat. Heels.
dude I went to cubs game with my mustache, aviators, and a hooded sweatshirt. Do you think it was irony or fate that there were four 17 year old girls in front of us?
oh. my. god. the guy i hooked up with last night is currently wearing a dress.
erin looks like she hung out with the sham wow guy last night. she's got the beat up hooker look goin' on
dude u gotta turn down the techno when u bang that chick its creepy
How many pudding cups do I have to eat for it to count as dinner?
4.
I don't know where I am, but its a Goosebumps novel waiting to happen.
He uses pillows to masturbate.
picked up a girl by parallel parking. i love this town already.
It was his first time doing shrooms and we made him ride in the truck bed. But he kept standing up and yelling when we stopped so we had to keep driving
You slid down the bannister into a split. Lines were crossed.
You told your mom that it was your second day sober. I think she believed it until you jumped off the balcony
To be honest I've become too lazy for the work involved in getting laid.
You run marathons and you're too lazy for sex? Priorities, man.
Touche.
When that wave blew your top off I heard someone yell "SPANK BANK"
As a former fat girl, that's probably the best compliment I've ever received ever!
I just found out through a drunken phone call that my parents thought I'd grow up to be a porn star. It's kind of scary how accurate they were at how skilled I'd be at sex.
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