Hallmark should totally make "congratulations on getting your period" cards...I feel they would be quite popular.
Hey when you come over to pick me up in the mornin bring a camera. This is going to be legendary. Don't knock.... They might cover up
Is today national text-a-girl-whose-had-your-dick-in-her-mouth day and I just wasn't aware?? I am getting the most random "just saying hey" texts ever and that's the only common denominator.
This guy at the party just introduced himself to me as "the guy who sat behind you on a plane last year"
30+ People Share Their Worst ‘Intimate Experience’ And They’re Traumatizing
Was this before or after he told that homeless man outside the bar about his past sexual experiences?
Thou shall not celebrate other people's birthdays as if they were thy own
Every time I drink before 5 somebody's pet dies
Stop drinking before 5
Easier said than done
People were running around punching out the ceiling tiles Super Mario style.
So much for doing Irish car bombs in my grandpa's memory.... Asshole.
25 Shocking High School Scandals You Won’t Believe Are True
I dont know how I should feel about you making a 37 year old come visit you and then making him do the walk of shame from your dorm room...through campus
I just accidentally deep throated a popsicle in front of my parents
He's hot....knda sweaty, drunk smells like feet....but he's hung like a whale....so in other words totally your type
Sigh. I haven't seen a dick since August 22nd. And in case you forgot, it's January.
orgy was averted by karaoke, thank god
Curing hangovers with more alcohol was a great idea for the first five days