It's a miracle Ok Typing texts toYou right now
I looooooove Saturdays!!!!!!!
I am absolutely hammered
turn off your phone and go to bed
It's fine actually... I'm pretty sure he had the crookedest weiner in the world anyway.
Like he had it hanging in the wind and you just decided, "nope, I don't think that one's for me." ????
God no! I could just feel it. His clock said it was 8:00 when, clearly, it should have been midnight.
was it mean of me to chase him screaming "DO YOU EVER WANT TO BE ABLE TO HAVE CHILDREN?!"?
These 25 Women First Experienced Sexual Harassment At A Shocking Age
I woke up with spaghetti in my mouth
thank you for introducing me to everyone on chat roulette as I was passed out.
Theres two guys using a blow up doll to hold their beers while they float around the pool
Im on my way, tell them to get ready for a high-five
Yeah it was hard to find an opportunity while fucking him to say "oh the reason my lips taste so salty is because i blew your roomate 15 minutes ago"
Please tell me you're throwing the cats into this foot of snow.
23 Absolutely Despicable Things That People Have Actually Done
i just remember pinky promising you guys to take care of him.
Just checked my phone. Sometime last night I googled sex positions in a tent. Was there even a tent there?
I hopped in a random dudes car outside the strip club at 3pm on a Sunday and said "Follow that car!"
I'm not drinking with you for AT LEAST a day
LET US USE OUR GENITALS TO CELEBRATE THIS VICTORY
There are grandparents doing keg stands I don't know