Yes, it's true. 4 fingers.
So I pulled my t-shirt down, pushed my boobs up and marched right into that church!
the condom got lost in my hair
is it bad that I sent her a picture of my penis on her husbands birthday?
you were just eating all his cookies and kept mumbling "them crumblies" when the crumbs got on your shirt.
I hate when people see you passed out in your front yard and call 911. Like what, you can't take a nap face down on your steps at 4pm?
Lets be real here, you loved it when I was on top. With and without the machete.
somehow this turned into a costume party you have to get here now with my banana suit or I'm wearing my birthday suit
apparently they stopped looking at spit swabs under the microscope in bio ever since they found a sperm cell in one students sample
I am going to piss jack daniels before daylight.
Daylight. It is daylight. Who will give you a ride back?
I hope no one. I want to walk and have a bus hit me.
Its a holy bong. We had to bless the holy bong water.
fuck school, let's just become the worst strippers ever
“before I show up tits a blazing, what’s the sexual temperature here?“
My one night stand from last weekend is now taking me on a date this weekend. How is this my life?
I was peer pressured into smoking weed by a bunch of LGBTQ teenagers
Randomize
