I woke up this morning with my shirt on upside down.
You mean inside out.
No, upside down. I ripped the neck hole in the process of getting it around my waist.
I'm getting the same feeling waiting for the web-page to load that has my final grades that I get when I take a pregnancy test. I think I'm gonna leave my computer for 3 minutes.
you know how they say when you die, your whole life flashed before you? well do you get to see what happened all the nights you blacked out?
i'm 67% sure he was trying to sing in hawaiian
drunk waterpark is besst waterpark.
after she pushed someone down the stairs to get more vodka we lost her for a while and found her on the pole in the garage pouring water on herself
She said you told her you were ready to be a dad. We just got back from our purchase of the morning after pill. That took me 2 hours of convincing. No more fucking my sister.
1. Thanks. 2. No.
Definitely just realized I wore a shirt that says "building leaders for Christ" to a hookup. Roll tide.
Things my liver can't take in one weekend. Surprise nights off at work and male strippers. Woke up jaundiced.
So when I walked out, everyone was chanting ONE OF US, someone draped a lei over my head, and then she grabbed my ass and dragged me back into the bedroom. I'd say it was a pretty good night to lose my virginity.
I'm kinda glad you won't be in Vegas tomorrow because you'd make us go streaking or throw dead animals at them.
There's hope in those eyes, for a better tomorrow or more cocaine, we may never know, but there's hope.
Details are irrelevant. Come bail me out of jail.
He woke up from being passed out on the couch mumbled something that sounded like "Taco" then proceeded to the bathroom only to pass out again, I think we need to learn how to party like him!
soo... how was my night?
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