i hope you realize when i said "grib" earlier i was referring to the gridded binary, a mathematically concise data format commonly used in meteorology to store historical weather forecast data. also meant in referential conjunction to my probability math class that i am failing at roughly 215pm tomorrow afternoon.
This ginger kid smells like a queef popsicle
weak ass sauce last night. waste of time. you suck. ps. your boobs are fake
becoming an adult blows. i don't think its possible for me to wake up for anything that doesn't involve kegs and eggs or half naked bums passed out in our yard.
No, I don't think your idea of offering shots in exchange for bonus points to your history professor at B-Dubs was a good idea. Especially after you later told him that you would "tap that" in regards to his wife.
What's the address?
Too drunk. Just google it.
IT'S YOUR HOUSE
I never appreciated sexting until I went to rehab
You told me to remind you that the bruise on your ass is from when you danced on the table at Ziggy's, saw a cop and tried to 'fly away'.
Chicks, chicks everywhere, and not a drop to drink. Dude, when did real life lesbians get HOT?
just in the smoking shack with my sister cheering on a caterpillar make its cocoon
She throws back shots like they are NO-THING. I swear, she goes through like five straight tequila shots, does a jello shot, chases with half a hot dog, has a rum and coke, and then takes her shirt off and makes an impromptu bandage out of it for fuckin' Tim who cut himself on the flagpole. I'm going to marry her.
Today is going to be a great day. He just brought me a donut on his dick... It's Sticky Dick Donut Day!!!
STOP FUCKING TELLING PEOPLE ABOUT THAT TIME THAT GUY CAME ON MY FACE WHILE I WAS ASLEEP!!!
I can't believe it is only 1:30...I may have to stab myself with scissors for an excuse to go home...
Promise me if ever I think I can't do anything, remind me that I waxed my own butthole
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