I have a masturbator in my 5th grade class. the teacher told me ever since they caught him humping the desk in 2nd grade, they haven't been able to control him. he's even on medication but he will just do it in class
Martha Stewart would most definitely roll a great joint.
Passed out for 3 hrs til now to wake up naked on my bed covered with grass from drunk slip and slide I would call that success
After walking in on us in the living room, he still insisted that he slept in my bed with me afterwards.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
There were 11 girls in that minivan and everyone was either puking, crying, or yelling "we're a total shit show"
you had me at cake vodka
Bake him heart shaped cookies?!? Send him a picture of your tits like an ADULT!
This is the third year in a row that Mario has fallen through a table on New Years. I'm sensing a tradition developing.
I apologize in advance for the amount of cleavage I'll be exposing your boyfriend to.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Taco Bell is giving high school kids free tacos STEAL YOUR BROTHER'S WALLET I'LL BRING THE WEED.
He will forever be known as the toe sucker who may or may not have been a father
Are you saying I'm your favorite hot mess?
I'm actually my favorite my hot mess, but you're a close second.
my one night stand just gave me money "to buy a better vibrator" tis the season
This is the best 30th birthday ever. In a Motel 6 drinking a shower beer and sending slow-mo dick helicopter videos to you.
if I was a good friend this would be the time that i would remind you that you have a boyfriend
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