yeah she is the one who tells people i beat girls.. which ironically make me want to punch her in the face
The best feeling....farting and having the bubble hit your balls
i had a dream last night that my liver tore its self out of my body and ran away.
In hindsight, trust falling your grandma was a bad idea. Sorry about that.
You guys need to get along, there is no need for a pissing contest...We're all fucking each others ex's.
He had me believing he was actually British until he came and used his real voice.
If I give you a key to my place you have to promise to one day wake me up with a blowjob.
And by one day I mean once every two weeks.
donating our bodies to science does not justify what were doing to them.
He wore nothing but a Speedo and a tie to the party. It was great. Everyone was looking at him like "this kid's the best"
She had sex in a public bathroom and slept on a couch in the dorm lobby. It's only Monday
He almost got to me tonight but then I was like fuck it I'm going to dance with a teli-tubby on the bar so fuck you
Woke up to a sex noise notice under my door...he gets a A+ for proformance and ill be seeing him again.
I met his dad. Turns out he was a one nighter from the nurses conference in Vegas. Not sure how to handle this one.
Clearly, you already have. Both of them.
Well let me fuck you while I make potatoes. It's every girls dream
i don't like interrupting booty calls. thats just rude.
Randomize
