Her boobs looked like leather oven mitts. No more cougar hunting for awhile.
Stalkers don't have time for showers...it's a full time job
he told me he had a problem with me going both ways. like what the fuck. what guy says that to a girl? goodbye planned threesomes...
Thats why you always identify the subtext of a blowjob before you accept it.
He said i looked like a shooting star sprawled out on the floor while i puked and i kept blaming "senor cuervo" for doing me dirty.
why is my new profile picture on Facebook one of me with a bunch of strangers on an elevator?
I just feel like you're using me for sex.
I'm glad you finally understand the context of our relationship
And to add, there was a fat guy right next to me who, when the girls would shake their butts, he would let out a shrill xena warrior princess cheer
Its a cash in stratch tickets to afford cigarettes and coffee kind of friday
5 hours of volunteer work playing with puppies and banned from the frat I hate most as 'punishment'... Besides the ER trip, I'm not seeing the bad in this situation
After a while I was so wet that I started crying. HE MADE ME SO HORNY I WEPT.
He understood my need for pizza was more important than my need for sex. He's the one.
Well I didn't get a shacker shirt but I somehow managed to come home with superman socks
never let me tell the bartender to cut me off, i basically told on myself
their motto was "the first one to get arrested wins" so of course today was interesting
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