I have one thing to say: spongebath.
I wish that wasn't all you had to say. And by that, I mean I wish you hadn't said that at all.
Should I go home with him even though I know my Run DMC undies have skid marks on them?
Sometimes i look at the biltmore estate and wonder just how small George Vanderbilt's penis was...
Sucks about the cops last night
to be honest when I first looked up I wanted to know who was coming from a costume party..
It's ok. Rob's just shotgunning upside down.
I just wanna go somewhere and not be judged for wearing spandex shorts that make my ass look like a slice of fucking heaven. Is that so much to ask??
Shit ive learned: when going out to a party, always wear a bathing suit underneath just in case theres a pool with a roof next to it
I have random bruises including my spine and visible bite marks on my neck. Thanksgiving car sex accomplished.
She just causally held my limp dick in her hand the entire movie. Her parents were cuddling on the couch too..that brave!
I have no idea how but i got a hold of a blue food dye packet. And proceeded to rub it all over my tits. So yeah i'd say its safe to say i'll be known as smurfette for a while
purchased gas station taquitos and condoms at 4 this morning. It has been magical..
Gez, you make a couple noises and all of the sudden your the loud girl.
Life's hard when you can't differentiate between retrograde and PMS
I know you’re not my dad, but you’re someone dad. And you’re also like a second dad to me who I also send nudes to as well. Happy Father’s Day
Thanks for going with me today. It’s been a long time since I bought bra and panties because of a guy
It’s called “shopping for lingerie” and it’s one of the many exciting and sexy things that follow a divorce, along with sexting, sleepovers, and orgasms
But, our next lesson is picking up a younger guys at the bar!
Randomize
