she was mega hot - except for the poop under her fingernails
we sat in the hammock and pretended we were skydiving for three hours. jack actually started crying when i convinced him his chute didnt open.
I don't understand how people can have that much vomit in them
It's one thing to send dick shots. It's a whole other thing to send unimpressive dick shots while wearing crocs.
There was just way too much discussion about my penis at that party
best friends dont let best friends get an STD of the eyeball just saying
Are you having sex right now? Or is the apt just swaying rhythmically on its own? Either way, awesome.
Life Goals: never under any circumstances, pee in an elevator again. No matter how drunk
Do drug dealers work on Memorial Day?
He started a convo with me by saying that we went to high school together and then recommended I try meth.
Thank you. I woke up with a beard hair in my mouth. Super classy.
ALSO I MAYBE ACCIDENTALLY HAND CUFFED MYSELF TO A CHAIR
Cum just came out of my nose. That is all.
In this house, we have but one simple rule: DONT FUCKIN TOUCH MY STUFF OR I'LL CUT YOUR NECK IN UR SLEEP
She blew me while I watched the jets game and the hardest thing was deciding what to focus on more
Randomize
