Crown is evil. It plays hide and seek with my morals
dude smells like cheese burgers and loose women...... i want his life
I just talked to a CEO of a fortune 500 company while pooping. I LOVE being self employed.
let's skip the party, and just play drunken wii, again. its time to give my vag a break.
after watching ten minutes of "the decision," I conclude that King Lebron has more influence on America than Barak Obama. I love our countries values.
If I don't wake up hungover in a ditch Monday morning I will consider my halloween a failure
I have bruises on my ass from her spurs. God bless Texas.
Using the salt from a pretzel bag for tequila shots. Come over.
COME GET ME FR THE HOSPIGAL'!!!!!
He said you stopped mid-fuck, called fives on his dick, walked out to grab another drink, and came back.
don't get you morals all over my torrid fantasties
gorilla chasing a banana on crotch rockets. Halloween is getting way too real
she texted me 'with freud,' which i thought was drunk for 'i'm with my friend.' but nope, she was actually on a statue of the psychologist sigmund freud.
My dog misses eating marshmallows out of your butt when you're passed out. That bordered on sex abuse, now that I think about it. My bad.
I fucked her with a giant balloon tied to my dick. You tell ME how my night went
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