the blizzard started in kansas. im debating driving to a bar now so i can get snowed in there for the game
the boy next to me on the plane handed me a shot glass, then a perkaset, and told me to have a good week off..hellllo spring break.
This guy at the party just introduced himself to me as "the guy who sat behind you on a plane last year"
Charles Darwin would shit his pants if he saw that we managed to survive that weekend.
Guy, there will be accountabilities this weekend that you will need to respond to, or else.
Hey, it's Thrasher! From the hospital!
You want a summary? Scottish women that start drinking at 7 am. Cherries soaked in moonshine. Japanese beer. Old men smoking stuff that I'm pretty sure is illegal here and in Japan. One is doing a karaoke striptease. There's your summary.
Hon, I found you crying into a bathrobe in the back of a closet with a broken shoerack.
I told him to just roll me a blunt and put it in a heart shaped box.
This guy smelled his armpits before trying to approach me at the bar
5% want to drink juice and feel better, 95% just want to touch your butt
I need you to ship me a penis cookie care package.
there is a guy with a glowstick staff outside my house
I just found an entire bag of French fries under the seat of my car labeled "For emergency use only" drunk me is always planning ahead.
Apologies that our conversations always turn to butt sex or penis size. I thought we out grew that in our 20's.
Randomize
