Last night this chick queefed when I was going down on her. Thinking if you! xo
yeah for some reason your penis didn't fit in my mouth the other day
I just figured it out. Meghan has the same smile as Sylvester Stallone.
so then we both started to do the walk of shame and she didnt realize we had fucked in her apartment until some lady said hi to her in the elevator
you didnt stop her?
too entertaining
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Your favorite bartender is back from prision
I started drinking at 10.30am. Ive got a solid buzz, ive decided holidays are to be treated like gamedays
She swallowed my jizz and then took a shot of jack daniels and said "chaser." This cant be real life.
We're doing a case race on Saturday.
I'm in. I'm currently drinking a beer in the bathtub so I guess I can consider this "practice" and not just "alcoholism"
I am not saying a eulogy for your vibrator.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
KNEE DEEP IN HOES. SEND HELP.
At what point do you think my baptist preacher of a father will clue in that my brother "bringing a foreign exchange student" for thanksgiving means "bringing his european boyfriend and they'll probably fuck every night" for thanksgiving?
A cute girl just told me she forgot to take her birth control and winked... I've never been so conflicted about fleeing in terror
She got called into work early but she left me a note that had directions to her roommates stash of weed on top of a two bacon and egg mcmuffins. I think I win.
If I had a vagina, my apartment would have been the Atlantic
I just smoked weed with my physics professor. Tell me how my life is this.
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