scale of 1-10 how well do I give head
5, but i have never had a 10. best was an 8 so if i grade you on a curve you are a 7. ish.
I just realized that I've become that person they make the alcohol warnings on medicine for.
I gave him a handjob while watching the presidential address. Needless to say, it was weird.
I woke up to find her cooking breakfast wearing nothing but my Nuggets jersey. I don't think this could end better.
and that's why he's hiding in the taco suit
Every single time I start thinking that we shouldn't have done that to him, I think of his ballsack in our passed out faces. No sympathy.
I gave her at least chlamydia. Maybe worse. She is also into chicks and loves taking naked pics. It's like the less I believe in Jesus, the more he rewards me.
Bro, there is a rent-a-cop selling syringes out of the trunk of his car. This is why I hate the DMV.
I thought it was a myth but I have just reached the age of sitting on my balls. Not a fan.
She is watching her grandpa for the day and the dude just whipped it out and started jerking off while watching the View.
I'm two guys short from fucking the whole baseball team and one is gay. I will be successful by the end of this month.
Let's get weird.
It's 10 am...
I'm assuming that means you're not busy...
Right now I'm in a club where they are passing out glow in the dark dildos by the dozen. I don't think my life will ever get weirder than it is at this moment.
I think the reason she hasn't text me back is because I spanked her ass with Hulk Hands
I have "if found please return to" written in sharpie on my arm, my uterus is rejecting everything, and I have hickies. I must actually be an 18 year old piece of shit girl instead of a responsible 23 year old
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