So someone put the baby mannequins in sex positions
Slept with that guy from the bar last night. Only got 2 1/2 hours of sleep. Eyes were so bloodshot this morning that the principal sent me home b/c she thought I had pink eye. God I love teaching elementary school...
Going back to my hometown to drink absinthe with highschool boys. Remind me to evaluate this decision tomorrow.
dude can i febreze my hair or is that slutty?
Watching NYC prep. Doing a shot everytime one of these d-bags flips his hair. I give it 10 minutes before alcohol poisoning set in.
I'm a little nervous about this St. Patty's Day party. Seriously, we're still finding stuff from the Halloween party.
everything was going well until edgar threatened to handcuff the security guard to himself.
I told her I had the flu when in reality I did way too many drugs last night, haven't slept and don't want to sit through a 3 hour buisness meeting trying to figure out which voices are real and which are in my head
I have no words
Neither did my mom, when she walked in on me squating with my balls in a cup of hot water.
Seriously, this trumpet player gives me chills. Might be the drugs.
He is 30 (that's 8 years older than I am) and uses more Emojis than I do. Problem?
Best orgasm I ever had! I though we totally connected and I asked him to stay over. He went back to the sigma chi house and returned with his blankie and a 40. please help
I've just had my first cup of coffee in a month and I moaned at the first drink and honestly I think this is the most sexual expreiance in 6 months
On a scale of 1-10 I’m at biblical violence
Im glad your laughing because im currently convincing my penis you didnt mean it and its all gunna be ok.
Randomize
