Can you send me a pic of you vag, I'm sexting the guy and he wants a pic but I didnt shave
dude are you serious?
I know you already have a pic on your phone
she told me she sucks everyone's dick but mine because mine is too big and "hard to suck" i need to reevaluate the girls i fall in love with.
I've never heard a "this is the reason why i dont suck your cock" explanation go in that direction
Replacing day drinking with a real job was the worst decision I've ever made.
I'll be honest, not actually surprised to find half a Big Mac box and bits of broken security glass by the sofa.
level of my singleness - just ate a whole pizza topless in bed.
It was a deal breaker when she told me not to wear a condom and god would decide if we were meant to be together.
I am going to borrow your water/shock proof video camera for St. Pattys day so that if wake up next to the highway again I know why.
Ok but I hold the right to any footage of you getting slapped, puking, anything with body shots, and allowed to make a montage of it to put on youtube.
Sorry, all I could picture was you jamming your dick into a lemon.
Dude I broke her toilet blowing some dude. I wasn't going to turn down the 300$ he offered to fix it.
i thought you were just a really comfy body pillow until i sobered up. oops.
literally just tried sending to someone a video of me jerkin but my phone was connected to Apple TV and it literally just played on the tv in a full room and I'm actually about to shit myself
I still have to bake cookies and shave my legs so Mike can have MILF & cookies when he gets home.
i woke up between my boyfriend and his sister and i don't know if we fucked or cried together
She told us she had powers and that eating tree bark cures the shits.
Unless it has to do with ramen, goldfish, cheese, or rugby, don't talk to me.
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