I just had a dude tell me how he got fired from friendly's for tripping a kid and followed the story with "If i'm gonna do it, I do it big."
I don't get why Lindsay Lohan doesn't just blame her bad behavior on her twin sister from the Parent Trap. I mean nobodys seen her since.
I have a question, if it paid really well, like ridiculously well, would you be a restaraunts under the table resident blowjob girl?
Apparently I mistakenly called the hair club for men at 3am... they called me back this morning.
i just feel like it would be irresponsible for you to not have sex with me again.
My vagina agrees.
Her thighs are so strong. I thought my head was gonna get crushed when I was eating her out
I feel like wearing underwear would just be poor planning
Hamster emergency. Can u come in here
This chick had a condom box organized by size with dividers that glowed in the dark.
So ive come to the realization that my affinity for tattooed guys makes me the literal definition of tit for tat
She drunkenly dropped her ranch for her pizza. She tried to clean it up with her hands off the street then realized it didn't work and started licking her fingers.
I know. His dick was small at the top and got bigger at the bottom, like a fucking curling wand.
Isis wins if we don't have the loudest, kinkiest sex in every part of my house tomorrow
If we were teenagers we would intentionally be trying to burn down this historic landmark
he passed out in the backyard and we used christmas lights as extension cords for the clippers to shave his head.
Randomize
