if i can run in heels then i can drive
it's like everything I expected to see tonight all put together in one at once
that is the greatest description ever
Just proof I should've brought the airhorn with me to class.
Ok see being that I'm not present or participating your vague texts "neeeeed that" and "vagina" leave a lot to question.
My vagina is depressed thinking about her future.
So I'm seriously not complaining - but I just fell ass backwards into a Tuesday night threesome. Sober
She just flushed the toilet with her head inside it...
i woke up to banging and pieces of ceiling falling on my face
Sat in the shower and reenacted the "Wiggle your big toe" scene from Kill Bill. THAT hungover.
This is why I can't have Wednesdays.... Or adult decisions.
RE-DICK-YOU-LUSSSSS
That's me emphasizing the ridiculous
Dude, you punched me in the face bc I wasnt ordering your tbell fast enough. Then when you got it, you threw it out the window bc, and I quote, "OBAMACAREEEE!"
We smoked weed. AS A FAMILY. IT WAS BEAUTIFUL.
You challenged a dog groomer that she couldn't cut human hair ... How's the shaved head
Is it totally acceptable to fuck a co-worker even though we don't speak the same language?
Why do you even have to ask me that question
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