I just answered "If only I knew" for a quiz in criminology, she loved it. I got an A
We need to talk about our relationship.
I just won a bet involving 10 tequila shots. You've got about 3 minutes
Its official. 'Jingle Bell Rock' gives me a boner. Thank you Lindsay Lohan & Rachel McAdams.
We've completely outdone ourselves. We packaged a collective total of six grams of pot and salvia into little bowl-sized tinfoil capsules. It's totally impossible to tell which is which without comparing, every Friday from now on we pick one out and see what the fuck happens
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Our date was amazing and I would like to reward you with a blow job under your desk.
I can pencil you in at 3:30
ok thanks goodnight
Also before you go to bed i just have to get it out there that i really like macklemore as a person
It was a great idea until we got stuck in a ditch. We had to call redneck cousin 1
I need to have sex. It's becoming like a matter of public safety.
I'll pretend I don't know she's blind, my morals claimed the back seat in this adventure.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I was looking for a pen and I stumbled upon my mom's vibrator. On a related note, yes I will be going out tonight.
She is carving a little coffin out of some wood for her hamster that died. I'm flying home tonight.
Sooo I ended up ugly crying at the drive thru window at 10 pm last night....how was your valentine's day?
Well what did you order
my gyno just used the expression "dick around." too far?
Went to the party dressed like a Cougar and brought a twenty something dressed as Micheal Phelps home. So far I’m loving being divorced. :-)
RICK FUCKING MORANIS!!!!!
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