apparentely "Beer Pong Champ" is not a profession, no wonder they havent called me back......
told ya
My hand is eating my burrito and not saving any for my mouth. TRIPPPPPPPPPPPPPPINN!
ive decided something. ive accepted you as being gay. but i havent accepted you as a vegetarian yet.
No I'm not coming over. That Bob Ross drinking game is too intense.
Just did the walk of shame in front of his dad while I was wearing his gym shorts and my heels from graduation last night. Keep it classy '12
I swear god is testing me by giving me awesome guys with tiny penises
Sorry about the whole your mom seeing my face up your ass situation
The people at subway are so judgy when you stop to get a sandwhich on your walk of shame
Last night at the bar you we're seriously going up to people and pushing through them like they were bowling pins and you were a bowling ball
They are gonna stay together and get married and have 2 children before he wakes up and realizes that there is more to life than anal
I'm going to invent an ap that tests your stress levels before texting and will say something like "nope, go rub one out and try again in 10 min"
you can tell a lot about a person by the quality of their porn
He said he doesn't "believe" in cuddling. Can you come get me?
you blew the guy with all the harry potter paraphanelia didn't you
I don't care. It's wine Wednesday get your gameface on.
Randomize
