i tried to hook up with a mom and then her husband came with num chucks
You taught me that having a dip while u shit is awesome. I appreciate u for that
Had sex to a Lionel Richie song. I have a feeling I was conceived to it. Finally reached full circle.
At the same time. Hot men feeding me brownies. In between rounds of sex.
Her stepmother interrupted our sex to tell her it was midnight and she wanted to do a sympathy shot for her 50th.
Don't break up.
I pull out like 90% of the time, but that's just to make art.
Most men with as many freckles as you aren't vagina magnets. You are an exception to your kind.
You are like a vicious sex animal persistently seeking prey
Remember that time a drunk Dracula took a shit in the urinal? Ooh, that's right, it was last night.
Just got the test results back; apparently I'm red-green colorblind. this explains the past 18 years of my life and i'm wondering why i didn't realize this sooner
Someone had to wrestle her in the chocolate pool, I'm glad I was man enough to step up and do it
Somewhere on my work laptop I have a map visualizing all the area codes that Ludacris has ho's
I hope that wasn't done on billed time
I can guarantee that it was
And you seriously thought you could just walk in naked with a bow tied around your penis?
It seemed like a good idea at the time...
I was sleeping and woke up in the bathroom already puking like i slept walk. Perrrrrrfect.
he offered to let me fuck his brother , of course im marrying him
Randomize
