Its really not funny anymore. I need to stop shaving while i'm drunk
we're making bets on your personal life
Mattress luging...It's a long story.
There's so much relief when you realize you wake up in your own bed
he put on The Eye of the Tiger while she was in labor.
Is that you who's passed out on my treadmill?
Just got invited out of group to take shots after hearing her gay friend say "why would I give him my alcohol so you can suck his dick. It's going to be a good night
They only knew me as the lesbian that passed out in a bathtub. That's not what you call friendship.
We had a weird moment. Mid-sex he started talking. It went along the lines of "I. FUCKING. LOVE.....this condom..."
But think about it. I could put her gold medal around my penis
We had sex and he ended up in the hospital... don't know if I should be worried or proud.
i agree, on both the sex thing and the unrepentant bastard thing
That's not "anything", that's you deep throating a mozzarella stick.
tbh I think I just dated him for his dogs in the first place.
Woo is fucking right, dude. Vodka night tonight. Honestly, every night pretty much seeems like vodka night lately. My liver wants to move out of my body like I gave it an eviction notice.
Randomize
