that thing about your dad's boner was meant to be a compliment
laying in bed listening to christian music, jealous of the hope they have for their life. also need to beat off, can i think about you?
we need blinds so i can safely watch porn during the day
Just went to my life planning class. The professor has a braid going halfway down his back and an earring.
Why are my keys in the refrigerator?
You said "This is gonna really confuse me tomorrow." Apparently drunk you plays pranks on hungover you.
This explains so much.
I will never underestimate my ability to drunken ramble. At one point last night i think i was talking about hieroglyphics
The guy in 209 is masturbating with the door cracked again
I just banged two guys while dressed like an angel. I love this holiday.
You left the resturant and came back with a McDonalds burger in your pocket so ya...no more pregaming birthday dinners. Especially since it wasn't your birthday.
I need to stop getting so excited when a guy unzips his pants and its bigger than my boyfriends. I look like a kid in a candy store.
i woke up this morning and saw her in my bed and i said to myself, I think I might have a drinking problem.
why is there a broken handcuff locked to the ceiling fan
I can make a sex schedule on Excel and send it to you guys
So my new thing apparently is getting wasted, showing people my slytherin socks and convincing them I'm slytherin..because why not
IF YOU DIE ON LSD YOU DIE FOR REAL
Randomize
