I'm reading about reasons for wearing clothing. IS THIS COLLEGE OR PRESCHOOL?
he wanted to have sex on the little rocking chair but i was too high to figure out how to do that so we did it on the floor.
plan parent hood is for high school, im at the abortion clinic, so college.
Don't worry. I just took 2 benadryls and beat off. I'm practically sleep texting
I'm babysitting and we're watching Barney and I don't understand why Barney can magically make band hats appear but he makes them make shitty ass instruments.
Barney's a jerk
I told him I wanted to have sex to "halleluiah", he suggested the poke-rap.
When sleeping with someone new: should you hide the magnum condoms, or let him know what he has to live up to?
My phone saved "first signs of pregnancy" as a most visited search.
I just got woken up by some Christians who wanted to talk about the bible. ways to make a hangover even worse for a thousand trebek
THERE IS A GOAT THERE IS A GOAT IN MY BED IT IS EATING MY THONG WHAT DID YOU DO
I got slapped by a drag queen and bitten on the arm by either a random girl or a weird mouth shaped dog. Tough to tell without seeing the teeth
I folded my dollar bills into mustaches in preparation for our trip to the strip club
Nothing says besties like laying naked in bed hungover arguing over who is getting the pants
Jimmy johns delivers to the bar behind work. Happy vodka day!
So, I feel bad. I just told my husband I had sex with someone else while on a business trip. Today is his birthday. I'm kind of a dick.
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