yesterday i saw a blind man guiding himself into a NYC tour bus... and i thought i waste money
just found the deal breaker
hairy back?
he can't live within 1000 ft of a school
I had a dream that chipotle was out of burritos... Was more like a nightmare.. Gotta go make sure it wasn't real now
Vaginas are confusing as hell with all their secret compartments and shit.
I'll get my vaginal cartography poster.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Pretty much knew it was gonna be awful when the extra condoms she had from her ex were entirely too big for my dick
Not many best friends can say they've all made out with a homeless guy
He was dressed as ron burgundy and his pickup line was "dont worry, i wont make you jump in a bear pit."
I command you to take a shot and dance like the pretty little gay boy you are.
It has been so long since I got any action that I have decided to change my vagina's name from "the chamber of judgement" to "the cave of forgotten dreams".
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She said she's different now I guess anytime you get a bible tatt it automatically cancels out all the whoring you did for 10 years
I spent last night dying strippers pubes green and landscaping shamrocks. That is why hands look like I squashed a leprechaun.
My dry spell starts kindergarten this fall...
They grow up so fast.
I got horny for like a second but the eggplant snapped me out of it
After an orgasm, I always feel the urge to sing A Whole New World from the move Aladdin and I'm not quite sure why.
NOT PREGNANT according to the two dollar tree pregnancy tests I took in the tacobell bathroom. Come meet me at tacobell for celebratory soft tacos.
Randomize