I totally understand Scottish logic. No underwear+skirt=great
I dont know why I dont listen to you more often. He wont stop texting me. And his signature is "dancing with no panties on"
I just found glitter on my vibrator... whatever we're doing has to stop
Your ability to be a slut in your nightmare astounds me
Not sure. No solid plans. Just tanning nude.
I paid some man $10 for his shirt last night cause I liked it. Explains that. Bought the jackolope head from a street vendor. Got invited to someone's hotel rooftop swimming pool which explains why I was in my bathing suit. My clothes from last night are MIA. Going over the border with no pants on is awkward. Origins of the car rim still mysterious.
I would take a bullet for Beyonce's baby
Breaking a step ladder over someone's back turned into a really fun game, way too quickly.
I told the DJ last night to play Third Eye Blind before 1:45 and just pointed at him as I walked away. He didn't do it and at 1:45 I just walked out pointing at him, without my friends
I just pictured my inhibition personified as little pink piggies with wings flying off into the great wide nowhere hahaha
Please tell me there is not a bookmark on your browser with the title "Christmas Porn"
What's sexier than showing up smelling like fast food cigarettes with a jar of moonshine in your hand
he took my bra off with his teeth, THEN decided he just wanted to make out and cuddle. i don't know what the female version of blue balls is, but i've been living with it since 1 a.m.
the fact that I've been his fuck buddy for a year, and I'm pregnant isn't bothering me. the fact that he didn't tell me about his girlfriend does.
Slept with a member of the band last night, found out today after extensive stalking he’s engaged. Pro tip: don’t research one night stands.
Randomize
