You really coming over, don't trick.
My sis friend said it was fake then described it as "scary"...greatest adj ever applied to my dick
I'm still reeling over the fact that you beat us all at Risk while you were flat on your ass drunk and falling asleep on South America.
Anytime you have a hot, flirty, married woman that wants to ride you like a horse and slap your ass, you've got to do it.
Yeah, but four times?
I have sand in every orifice, there are bruises everywhere, and I smell like a distillery. I love summer.
'Twas I. Do you have any idea what it's like waking up to see you sent a text inviting someone to partake in "sexy rumpus?"
Its... i dont even know. theres lots of rap music and i cant find my shoes
Is putting "Tonight I'm Fucking You" on my date playlist too forward?
after tonight, seriously nothing could taste better than toothpaste
Also, let me tell you how embarrassing it is to match with someone who seemingly has their shit together at 4:45AM on a Thursday.
I guess daylight savings isn't a holiday we need to celebrate for three days...
May I make reservations with your penis for this evening?
Two old ladies openly mocked me this morning at drunk breakfast. Is it time to reevaluate my life choices?
I I was gonna wake him up with a blow job but I don't know how he would feel about it.
She called a 10 year old handsome and we gave her a look that was equal parts confused and “what the hell is wrong with you”
Randomize
