Hey baby girl when you gonna let my tongue get up in that ass like i'm an explorer trying to go deep under on a quest for the lost city of atlantis
your text was fucking rediculious. Will let you eat my asshole though.
Uh, do you remember who's thong is in my tree?
And there are taco shells on the ceiling fan
It's been decided..lingerie is an investment. You get free breakfast and cab rides out of it.
Also, my phone autocorrects ENABLER to all caps. I think I drunk text the word too often.
You working tonight?
Keg. Hottub. Wearimnh a 8th graders bikini. Mess
I think being an adult is being able to say no to free shots...I need to work on that.
Just killed a snake in my bed! And by killed I mean hit repeatedly with my fist. And by snake I mean a lump in the covers. And I pissed my pants.
They should incorporate dolphins into professional surfing
I am just saying if Clark Kent walks into your life, you fuck him
i still can't believe he got laid by going to the bar and handing out "cuddle buddy" application forms
I'm tired of being known as the Great Giver Goddess of the Almighty Pity Bone.
Dude...I slept walked to the free condom bin in the lounge last night. I don't know why.
I told her my blood type was O Positive and we started making out. Bio majors are weird.
If a cop comes up to me I'm whipping out my cock, swinging it around and singing the national anthem
Randomize
