After me and my boyfriend broke up I had to resist the temptation to send a mass text to my booty calls saying "thank you for your patience. it will be rewarded."
double majoring has taught me only that psych majors are sluttier than govt majors
Glow parties are what I live for
Your priorities in life astound me
I think she's perpetually drunk
It's all she knows
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I apparently insisted on hugging all the bushes and apologizing for pollution on the way home.
Wait is it okay if I still want to fuck the whole USA swim team or is that only acceptable during the Olympics?
I just gave her a sobriety test in the middle of the baking aisle.
And the results, officer?
She's fucked.
So you get idea of what my night was like, I woke up this morning and the back of my head was orange
Fuck these runners passing me on campus as I'm waking to dinner. With my huggie. With flavored vodka and rum. Aka yum
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
There are more dirty dishes in my bed then in the kitchen. Have I lost at life?
I feel like I'm in high school again. I'm completely sober and I just gave some guy a handjob to completion.
Haha we both slept with guys named Brad born on may 1st. This is a proud day for sisters.
I just had to explain my bite marks to my allergy doctor when she gave me my shots...You're the best <3
I've run into almost every guy I've ever slept with today. It's like they know just how horny I am.
It's next to that place that has cock fighting.
Randomize