we have officially lost it.
so i know my style isnt the best ever but u should have told me i was wearing two different shoes
i just realized i've been trying to levitate the potatoe chip out of her hand for the past ten minutes. i think i smoked to much.
so I ended up banging her last night
dude I remember her. You sure it was a her?
i don't even remember
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Imagine if sharks could walk on land...scary.
We've finally come to the understanding that as long as our conversation stays stricaly sexual, we get along.
I woke up to the sound of a beer can being opened. I love him already
I can't be held responsible for my own vagina. Let's just be honest here.
This should be a warning to men everywhere: do not send pictures of your erect penis to women you hardly know - they will add cats and send them to all of their friends.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just want to trick people into going on dates with me so they can bring back to their houses and let me use their wifi.
So I sent him a snap of me half naked holding a pie last night.
You know you need to get it together when a frat guy wakes you up and says you need to go to class
We just fucked each other sober. #goteam
Yeah, I'm pretty glad I chose you to have drunken, sloppy birthday sex with.
That's the nicest thing anyone has ever said to me
If it were up to me his wife would never get his penis again, but I guess they have some sort of arrangement
Yes, an arrangement called marriage
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