my head looks like a cockatoo
mine looks like a lions mane...looks like the entire zoo is going to prom
I need to not be around brick walls while intoxicated.
My grandma put hard boiled eggs on her lasagna. I'm not high enough for this.
I think not having bongs in close range is good for my academia
Kristy just reminded me that I have a bottle of champagne to lick off your ass hole...... This is by way of saying that we have plans on Friday.
Today was my cousin's Kindergarten graduation. I happen to also think of it as a MILF convention.
I'm still high with raccoon eyeliner eyes and chocolate all over my face and chest, clutching a mug of wine. Happy graduation.
you kept saying how you wanted to mainline bacardi right into your bloodstream. medical school is doing wonderful things to your brain
I'm going through what feels like a break up with beer. I'm emotionally distraught from it's lack of presence.
I think I just did my first walk of shame. He sent me home with a watermelon from his farm. Southern one night stands.
Visions of polite missionary are dancing in my head right now kinda and it alarms me
I woke up this morning fully clothed with a dart in my pocket
I blacked out and when I woke up and looked at the counter.. there was a full cake upside down. I dont even understand ...
Can I come over and get it in, take a nap in ur bed, grab some poptarts and then leave?
You haven't lost that air of class about you...
Do you remember punching the light out in the bathroom? I didn't, and that was at bar 2 of 4…
Randomize
