Your mom has a birthmark right next to her nipple
I've decided that life's journeys are more fun when your moral compass hangs in front of you and swings with each step
I just love slightly exposed cleavage. Not too much to be whory but just enough to say "your kids will never go hungry"
i just put a booger in my mom's hair and i just needed to tell someone.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Brought a cooler and a case to a parade. I'm getting dirty looks since it's 10:30. Telling people it's for the troops.
her roommates boyfriend drunkenly walked in on us banging and said yeeeeaaaaaahhhh and tried to high five me
The nurse gave me a funny look when I said I thought I have an std in my throat. Bet she only does it missionary too
I'm still finding big obvious chunks of condom around my car.
He's so urbane and sleek; so aesthetically chiseled, having endless features to offer me whenever I desire.
Are you fucking a guy or a condo building?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I told you, I'm taking a sledgehammer to your walls. Fuck your walls.
I'm Batman.
That edible kicked in right as I was upside-down on that rollercoaster. Fucking.mind.blown.
my entire left arm went numb
you need to get that checked to make sure you're not wired to have strokes instead of orgasms
I couldn't find any flowers so I brought her a cat.
At least your nickname is not Plunge Slut and that nickname is not in a published thesis work
SOOOOOO I just attempted to go to the gym, hungover. Ended up throwing up in the bathroom. I hope people think I'm just working out really hard
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