I know it's VERY late and i know i may have burdened you, but on the chance that it's sat nite- are you up or willing to be? Christinas camping and i'm chillin alone.
too bad you live with your parents still
hey, can i borrow that thing you never use?
what?
your penis
His texts read Like a 15 year olds diary.
I took a picture of his ID so i could remember how to spell his last name and facebook stalk him later...I think he saw me do it
It feels wrong to have dick mouth at a family dinner.
Last time we were that stoned we made a "everything you can fit in the blender" shake. Didn't end well..
I just found out I lost my virginity the same day my parents did, 25 years later. This is my life.
St Patricks day needs to be raged like youve never raged before. Like youre in the desert and it starts raining beer. Like it's the day the announced the 21st amendment (which is the one that ended prohibition)
I like to take my ritalin one pill at a time with each pill spaced out a couple minutes so I feel like I'm going super saiyan when they kick in.
Oh my god there's only so much masturbating one can do before one wants to fucking cry
no strings attached, like you could fuck him and then throw him off a building right after
hell or highwater he WILL get a blowjob in the hammock before the end of summer.
I WOULD NEVER MIX DICK AND MCDONALDS
Also, you fell asleep with you hand on and around my cock last night.
Randomize
