AHHHH!!! note to self never google image chastity belt omfg
New drinking game watching teenage mutant ninja turtles movie and drinking every time raphael says damn, someone says april or ms oneil, and shredder appears And every time we see a mustache
all you kept yelling was "i'm bored and i'm sober"
we drove through mcdonalds and ordered everything on the dollar menu. We told the workers that were making Super Size Me 2, drove away without paying and told them to bill our producer.
Well... He is a good looking man underneath all the fat and muff.
i think I'm just gonna buy a new vibrator, body pillow, some guys cologne to spray on it, a life time supply of wine and weed and be done with all this shit
there's no way I could forget finding someone else's hand in my pants
I'm bringing Sergeant Single Slut out this weekend. I hope you're ready for her.
We did it to 80's cardio music. Talk about a workout.
i woke up on someones kitchen floor, and i used the gps in my phone to find my way home. im really glad you forgot about me.
I just tried to snap you a picture of the CVS where we decided not to become parents.
Just fell down the stairs..might wanna call the ambulance jus take the weed out of my pocket be4 they come..
When we sit on the couch watching TV, she always cups her hand around my balls. Not sure if it's a sign of affection or a "power play" to remind me just how vulnerable I am if she chooses to make an aggressive squeeze.
I think he is using me to sort through his relationship issues, past and present. I did not sign up for this. All I want is booty. Am I the dude in this relationship?
I got eaten out in the igloo at snow-kings castle last night.My thighs were literally melting ruts in the ice bench.Definitely colder than the minus 40 blowjob at Desiree's wedding
Randomize
