I feel like if im whacking off more now that i have a gf than i did when i was single, somethings wrong.
i swear to god, this restaurant is playing a john tesh cover of a song from aladdin
Oh my god. I just envisioned myself eating panda meat. I need to get out of this class.
we just fucked in the mcds parking lot
wasnt he a virgin
yes we got celebratory milkshakes after
It's not fair. Guys with dicks that huge should not be allowed to be catholic.
I have a bruise on dick where you tried to "high five" me.
That bottle of wine took a part of my soul with it.
Besides. I don't even really like sex because it feels great. I like it because for thirty minutes I own that guys ass.
i ended up making out with my new neighbor in a stranger's car that we found unlocked on a driveway somewhere. apparently drunk self never say "no" to adventure.
i would stab him if he didn't just tell me he is a priest
One less thong to worry about.
One less *thing! But probably that too.
at what point last night did i get this tattoo of an anchor made of dicks?
around eleven
Does it count as a threesome if your friend drunkenly has sex on top of you while you're passed out?
My thoughts mid terrible hookup: do people normally read a magazine right about now?
Fuck. Totally just had sex instead of studying for econ test in an hour. Gonna get fucked again. HELP ME WITH YOUR EXTENSIVE KNOWLEDGE OF ECON
Randomize
