this other lifeguard and I are actually considering paying a kid to shit in the pool
i know he has to tuck it when he gets excited in public and all, but now he is just starting to show off.
I don't care where my tongue is but i t's going to be in all the pictures.
You wanted to speak to the manager of mcdonalds as to why a "bag of cheeseburgers" isn't a menu option.
Her vagina smelled like chicken
why do you say that
chicken smells like everything
You puked in the drive thru of Taco Bell. You puked as it was being handed to me. You managed to yell out "FIRE SAUCE" in between hurls.
Please tell me why 'cock-a-thon' was auto saved in my phone.
i love all of you. Physical. Emotional. Mental. All of it. When we speak i feel like a feather or a dragon depending on the conversation ...
my roommate would be appalled if she knew how many times i've peed in the kitchen sink
Oohh. Then yes, he is the Alpha Fuckboy.
my ex logged me out of his netflix so im gonna fuck his bestfriend as revenge
I decided we werent gonna go for round 5 when he started trying to have a serious conversation about how blessed he is to have such a nice penis
He has a point, the man's penis is a legend.
I had just gotten to his place and was about to get some dick. No way was I gonna let her negative attitude affect my orgasm feng shui
I’M DRUNK AND EXCITED.
He fucked me while I was smoking his blunt. His apartment was trashed and he drives a van that looks like it’s been hit by a train but still 10/10 would fuck again.
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