Yeah, I have to wait a few months then take a sample in, I asked the doctor if the sample could be wiped off my wife's back...i told her he said face only.
you were smoking 3 cigarettes at once saying 'cancer isn't real! Its all in your head!'
Condom broke. Took her to CVS for plan B and parked in expectant mothers spot. I laughed.. she cried
Right before we were going to have sex he said it was his "lucky condom" I don't know if that means its used or what.. But I'm freaking out either way.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
How was me telling you it's my mom's birthday a go-ahead to bang my sister???
We need to drink more. Just think how awesome it would be to wake up in a trailer and NOT remember how wee got here.
That awkward moment when your boyfriend tries to have sex with his go pro on #hdporn
When I go out tonight I need to make sure to be really good. The Easter bunny doesn't deliver to jail
You kept screaming, "Fuck her right in the personality" and then kissed a guy and slapped him across the face
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's been awhile, you pregnant yet?
Honestly I am too high to watch videos of you jerking off right now
Tell me not to drink and get on ladders. I think I need the reminder.. I'm clumsy enough sober.
HE IS. YOU SHOULD TOUCH HIS BACK.
IT IS A COURTSHIP RITUAL.
THE MUTUAL BUTT TOUCH IS SACRED.
I wear drunk well.
I'm declaring this weekend Captain Morgan weekend
You declare every weekend Captain Morgan weekend...
You just don't understand... :'(
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