I like waking up with a slight hangover cause I'm dehydrated and it makes me feel thinner.
so i woke up this morning covered in mail. none of it is mine.
I know he gets bloody noses a lot...so that explains all the blood...but I'd say the condoms are definitely from a penis.
Drunk you is everything I aspire to be in life.
We tried to line dance with everyone but it turned into drunken stumbling and attempting to grind on random frat boys. I feel that this might turn into an every Thursday thing.
Just took an adderall with a shot of tequila while doing my makeup in the parking lot at work before I go in. I'm also late. They're so lucky to have me.
I masterbate to the thought of you. You totally aren't just a booty call.
No one suspects that a sweet girl who is excited about her anniversary with her bf just blew her partner at work in a communal area a few hours ago, so its cool.
legit question. can i put a condom down our garbage disposal? my rents are coming over in 20
So yes we had an orgy last night and I sucked your tits while you fucked my husband but I am weird about sharing my toothbrush.
It's like an adderall Houdini. Right when you think you have a deal he disappears
The language barrier was annoying .... So we just had sex. That is how you deal with not being able to chat isn't it???
Also we're getting drunk and sledding down Caroline street. See you soon.
Did you at least know who's jizz it was?
That is questionable.
Best part though was when he wanted to cuddle and I was like, I'm going to go.
Randomize
