I've eaten ice cream, mentos, an extreme gulp and swedish fish today. i feel like diabetes. the actual disease not a person with it.
curled up in a ball on my bed listening to my "cuddle with a boy" playlist. prettty high.
Writing a love song to planned parenthood. what rhymes with "don't have AIDS"
Yes perhaps we are both wrong. And did you call me bj girl?
i swear, about 40% of my drunken life is spent having sex with him.
Just put a dog collar on someone's child.....was a great hit with everyone but his mom.......I think she hates me. I'm okay.with that
You need to let me be on top sometimes. I gotta get rid of these love handles
Omg it was awesome. At one point she says "cum in me, I'm too old to get pregnant".
dude my grandma just called my dealer. How does this shit happen to me
My dad picked me up from the bus station and as soon as he saw me he yelled "bus backwards is SUB!" and started laughing, I'm like 800% sure he's stoned. I'm so happy I came home for spring break.
I just really hate taking care of things... If I can't fill it with liquor I'm not sure what to do with it.
I hate drunk me more than anyone else in this world
Serious question: does drunken cyber sex with a stranger on omegle count as cheating???
Stop thinking about me and go on your date... at least I got the glitter off your face first.
Woke up at 8am and asked if she had coffee.... She handed me a shot of tequila...
Randomize
