Job is the problem. Drinking, the solution.
He like poked it twice with the tip of his tongue then left it alone. I'm sad.
Let's pretend this is a good idea before I change my mind.
Our teacher totally just got outed in class by a speaker from some lesbian cooperative house
I just saw the pics of me from the costume party as Party Boy. I've effectively cock-blocked myself forever.
We're going to play a drinking game. It's called "Senior Year of College."
I'll bring the barf blanket just in case.
I judge a person on how well they respect their vaginas... I can tell by the lack of respect she has for hers I dislike her.
I'm wearing a shirt that says "birthday girls #1 homo" ...what has my life come to?
Just got hit on by a middle-aged puerto-rican clown who told me that it would be bad to date someone who offers to buy me coffee and makes something of themselves. I love the NY subway.
You can't play that off as role play thing. You held my hips and kept yelling "put a baby in me!" That shit ain't cool.
I'm busy watching infomercials. I'd say I'll join you later, but I'm doing a shot every time they demonstrate how difficult life is WITHOUT this product. So I doubt I'll be able to walk in another... Maybe 40 minutes.
But feel free to join! A new infomercial starts in 12 minutes.
I told him I was going to sit on his face after I got out of the shower, he threw up the arm boners and yelled "STEVE HOLT!!" I might actually stop sleeping with other dudes.
I JUST WANTED TO GET SOME MOTHER FUCKING TACOS I AM SINGLE AS FUCK TACOS BRING PREOPLE TOGETHER OKAY
I would climb him like a jungle gym. Enthusiastically and creatively.
Randomize