I don't care how bad it tastes, i just put it in my mouth and deal with it
Dude!! Mom just asked me why you have 'boobies' hahaha
I hate my life
nobody understood you. You kept speaking french and hiding shit in your boobs
Why is there a shirtless guy in Walgreens and why is he probably looking for the same thing I am?
If I die tonight, I want you to know that your sister is awesome in bed
I just want you to know that I hid the weed. Once you find another job, I'll tell you where it is. Happy Hunting, bro.
you seemed to enjoy falling down hill
wow, never heard the last few months of my life put so succint
Bonus points if the penis has a little hat too
i don't know what part of 'duct tape bikini waxes' seemed even a little okay in our drunk minds, but i'm never drinking with your sister again
tried to out drink an american air force weapons loader. never again
I drank toilet water last night, I can't answer you because my phone is in rice.
When you are 21 it's acceptable to run out of the tavern and puke all over the bike rack... when you are 35 it's called alcoholism.
I'm gonna eat more dunkaroos to cope with what's in my vagina.
I was just asked by a police officer to not come back to Lancaster...
"Fuck all you guys I'm going to be Cameltoe Spider-Man for Halloween."
Randomize
