you announced to the whole room that instead of shaving you were planning to start straightening and then braiding your pubes. awkward silence followed by everyone leaving.
it's all fun and games until somebody pulls the tampon string..
ME TOO. Am adrunk madr out qith. White guy. Guy de white. Blanco chico. Chico de blanco
To do list: put blue gatorade in a windex spray bottle. spray it into my mouth in public so people think i'm drinking windex.
I would feel bad sleeping with her unless all of her personalities were on board with it.
I seriously think I got run over last night.. My sides are bruised and I got a ride home in the limo from the office.
I had sex with a Dutch boy on a rock last night. Happy graduation! x x
Can't we have real sex instead of you just thrusting the air near me?
Jsyk, in serious talks of trading blowjobs for soup in bed. I'm sober
She waited 7 months to break out her comicon costumes. I was only mad it took her so long. I fucked an elf last night and strawberry shortcake the night before!
I asked her how many times she came and she said "Oh god I can't count that high, Rutgers doesn't teach us that."
When we were having sex last night, I told him I would replace him with tacos
I went out with a plan. I came home with a Brian. THIS WAS NOT PART OF THE PLAN.
They tricked me into going into that room by saying we'd smoke a bowl and then they all proceeded to have an intervention with me about my love life.
I asked him if we could have sex sometime and he sent me a three page long text about his feelings for me. that's the only possible situation I've ever run into where a "k" response would have been more appropriate.
Randomize
