he got wood on it!
i know. i had to sit in his lap on the plane. he also wore teva sandals.
...i was talking about hockey
you know you are hungover when... you set your alarm for the next time you think you are going to throw up
dude why did you let me call her?!
i told you it was a bad idea and to quote you exactly, you said "no, it's a good idea..that's what people do when they love each other." you met her 15 minutes prior to that conversation...
Where are I am going home with Ryan
I don't know who this or Ryan is but it is probably too late to talk you out of it
Why is there a living, breathing cow on your front porch?
they have a walk of shame score keeper on their fridge. I marked my tally for him on my way out..
at that time a 4 pound meatball stuffed with pizza rolls seemed more important than bailing you out of jail.... sorry.
I almost got away with it until she smelled beer on the stroller.
I.V.'s should just be available for purchase at Walmart. God I'm dehydrated.
So hungover. I'm getting too old for trolloping around in disco shorts going shot for shot with well behaved underclassmen in an effort to lure them to the dark side of alcoholism and liver failure.
Ok. I'm gonna smoke some weed and look at some elephants without you then.
We set around a table in a hotel room and he spoon fed Molly to everyone there... I felt sketch for sec but then... Oh well.
Do you think I could use my teacher of month Award to get free drinks?
I remember the Prince Albert and the three penises in the threesome. But the rest no.
Either I'm getting old or the shit show is playing earlier than it used to...
Randomize
