i like that octo mom she is my favorite xmen
you said the mailboxes were turning into babies and they started crawling away. then you cried and asked me how you were gonna get your college acceptance letters
Just because it's been in my vagina doesn't mean it's important to me
The last thing I remember is funneling tequila out of a pink noodle.
I can't tell if I miss summer or 5 times a day sex more.
I met the perfect girl for you, she's smart, likes cars, has at least one ear, and really blue eyes!
please elaborate on, "atleast one ear"
the lighter is IN the bong. I don't know what to do
Im going..... Drinking all day and hand jobs from 18yr old emo rich girls that are just trying to get back at mom and dad for being to protective...SOLD
I went to the obgyn with chipped nail polish.. Somewhere Beyonce was looking down, shaking her head, whispering "Not fierce."
I am taking a candle lit bath, blasting some tupac and smoking a fat bowl. This is how every night should end. Did you go take a piss in his car yet?
I'm really tired of this guy walking his chicken in my neighborhood.
I licked your asshole in confidence.
Okay so I've been talking to the mice again and they agree with me that you're a piece of shit.
I was about to break it off with him because I realised he only wanted me for sex, until I realised that I only wanted HIM for sex. Win/win
im just letting you know I walked in on you with four different guys last night. a. you were all naked. b. they're all roommates
Randomize
