So while she was giving me a lap dance I told her I quit med school. Just so she didn't feel like the only one who's made bad decisions in their life.
No I'm not okay I had a crush on the singer of Tokio Hotel for four months and now you tell me he's a dude?
It's hard for me to sext him when the picture i see on my phone when he texts me is his facebook default of him and his girlfriend.
I HAVE stop dating guys for their prescriptions, you have no idea how awkward family dinner was. Thank god for his xanax.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Can u check his last FB check in, then come pick me up from there. Blame it on the tequila
He handled me like a finger puppet on crack... Time to ice the vagina, I'd like to sit down sometime today.
I hate when you actually try to sing and people think you're joking so you just go with it, but on the inside you're crying.
I'm still pretty stoned. There are mini rice cakes in my robe pocket to snack on in the shower.
Strangers are buying me shots and I got hit on by lesbians. How is it only tuesday
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's meant to be, Cynthia. You, him, and your developed breasts are meant for each other.
There is a guy here calling himself the pants less weed fairy
man my uterus needs to drop the egg or GTFO, BUUUSHIT
I was so fucked up last night that I peed on his FATHER'S BED and fell asleep there. and yes. his father was asleep in the bed
I think I died and satan has brought me back to life and I'm paying for my sins with this hangover
You left me a drunk voicemail of you describing your pizza to me at 2 AM
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