my hippie aunt just sent me some brownies with a note saying not to eat them under any circumstances until finals are over. excited.
He's yummy.
HE'S GAY. AND 40.
Irrelevant.
Sounds good! I plan on writing a book entitled: I've Probably Done Cocaine In Your Bathroom. A tell-all by Lauren.
So the doctor told me that I am starting to showing the early signs of liver cirrhosis. Thank you Jack Daniels for making the first 26 years of my life awesome.
My love will cover her like lulu lemon yoga pants. Casually supportive and always complimenting your Ass.
He always finds the good stuff. He's like a truffle pig for bud.
She makes him look at her naked pics before she sends them to someone she's actually going to fuck. I think this makes him mayor of the friend zone.
Dude, I brought the fucking tequila to that party and they cheered for the chick that seriously only brought limes.
WHY AM I CRAWLING IN OLDER MEN HOLY JESUS
Are you doing that thing where you're convinced I made a terrible decision
Daily.
I'll meet you in hell with unlimited boxes of wine though
My roommate just google searched "cumming blood" using my laptop. Her boyfriend is in her room, she looks scared. Words cannot explain how hilarious this is.
DUDE!!!!! THERE IS A MIDGET HANDING OUT RICE KRISPIE TREATS!!!!!! WHERE ARE YOU WHEN THE COOL SHIT GOES DOWN???????
Made it to the top o the stairs ALIVE YES FUCJ YOU GRAVITY
So do you guys remember Danny from Tinder?
Sorry I only remember personality traits, not names.
Randomize
