And then she said "sorry if my vagina smells like fish, it's just active."
unlike you, ive never imagined darth vader masturbating
Outside the community dumpsters: beer bottles and a carton of orange juice. Looks like we were here.
there was a 40 knocked over. chips and salsa all over the floor. and she was in her thong doing boot camp on demand in the middle of the room..
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I let my cat eat the pepperonis off of my pizza while I was still eating it. That's the level of tequila drunk I got last night.
God I adore you.
Walking in on a gay threesome, with a girl in the corner watching and taking vid is a reason to not only knock, but to never go to Savannah.
i was talking to them for like 5 mins and they were like HEY LETS GET A PICTURE and tequila said it was good idea
I forgot that places existed where drinking on Sunday is frowned upon. It's just so unreasonable.
Just cried to my husband about how much I'm going to miss my boyfriend... Maybe marriage is going to work for me after all
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Well you could have stayed home, played house and got blow jobs all weekend babe, but we all have to live with our decision
i like beer, sex, and cooking. what more can he want?
he took a fucking pitcher of koolaid and vodka to the bath with him... i wake up from my blackout to his roomate screaming cause he spilled it and passed out in the middle of a blood red tub. she thought he killed himself. jesus christ its only the first day of break and i already regret coming home
What’s the level of adulting when you reschedule a dentist appointment to have a threesome?
Let the clothes fall where they may.
when i woke up w mysterious sticky crap in my hair, i assumed i had another blackout hookup. nope. turns out i made PBJ and proceeded to pass out in it. i ate the evidence when i woke up.
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