Just saw the homeless asian lady making a hispanic man pull her shopping cart with a harness. I love Boston.
Pizza is the life boat of my drunk Titanic
man i wonder what i would be like if i had never started smoking weed
I would have to gauge my vagina to make it fit.
First time on E and Chris took me to a petsmart during puppy day. I might die of pure awesomeness.
Watching this game makes me realize that we have yet to do Skype shots. What kind of long distance alcoholics are we?
Have you ever felt like autocorrect is judging you with its suggested words? Like how it won't suggest certain words until you type in pretty much the entire word, is it just thinking 'No way did this dude use "consent laws" in the same sentence as "17th?" Or is that just me.
I went by my nickname in rehab. It made it feel more like summer camp.
i just want a position where we can lock up like some sort of sexual megatron and go the whole night that way
of all the things that should kill me, scurvy wont be one of them
The not so cute guy next to me made me play Kid Rock on the jukebox but I'm a big believer in free drinks so I obliged.
I already popped my bottle of Rose and took my boxers off. No can do muchacho
Why were you naked on your bathroom floor?
It was a "get entirely naked to take a shit" kind of blackout I think.
If she didn't block me, she would have known that I sneezed on her toothbrush.
Accent: check. Hot body: check. 8" dick: check. Feeds me biscuits in bed after rampant sex: check. Should I continue with my "Why I'm not coming back to the States" List?
Randomize
