Yep Great. Apparently I didn't just say things once that night. Drink. Yell. Repeat.
U also mentioned u werent wearing any underwear hahahaha
My fucking roommate unpluged my alarm; I pissed on his clean clothes.
Thanks for stealing lime trees for me at 4:00 am. We're well on our way to having sustainable supplies for mojitos this summer.
she had no gag reflex. and is an abercrombie model. i love college.
All I could understand from his text was "hatchet" "soccer" & "bitch". its safe to say andy has had enough to drink & will be violent soon
Wouldn't be the first time..I think there's a subliminal message constantly playing in my mind that says 'blackout', 'throwing up is fun' 'too sober'
why is there a clump of hair nailed to my wall?
I asked if he wanted to come over and he said he was busy. Then I sent him a pic of me in the bath with the bottle of wine I already finished and all of a sudden he was free. Booty calls are too easy.
You would think the bank would reward me for getting my account down to 3 cents without overdrafting it.
He pointed at me, then leaned in and said "shes the best at blow jobs" then chris fist pumped him and said "dude, I know"
I'm pretty sure that's why we have such good sex because we are secretly trying to kill each other
He yelled "Go Ducks" while he came
You know for a guy who frequently jumps into stuff without thinking it through, your can do spirit is lacking on this one
I asked for a cup of water. They gave me tequila. They WANT ME TO DIE
He jerked off some dude with a slice of Wonder Bread.
The sports guy?
Yeah. They claimed the bread made it hetero
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