I am puke
I'm curled up in a ball on the floor of my office with the lights off. I hope no one notices. No more open bar. Woof.
Id pretty much put it in anything at this point. Jello. Dogs. 12 year old boys
Anderson Cooper interviews Obama. It's like CNN is teasing and broadcasting my dream 3 way.
I never thought that I'd ever use the phrase "and the resulting ice cream explosion" seriously at work...
so while we were having sex, he stuck it in my but, and when he finished he goes next time can we have anal. i don't know if that means im tight or my butt hole is loose, i choose to think the first one
I knew the sex would be bad when he slipped the rubber on and said "safe sex activated"
ha so i just found a picture of you eating paper towels and many of Laura freaking out from it.
so I made out with a lobbyist last night. im officially a resident of D.C
Dude. Zebras have bad attitudes.
somebody put my brain in a crown royal bag and beat the shit out of it
I had to feed him the pizza because he was too blazed to do it himself
She said she forgot something.. and when she came out she was carrying a garden gnome, and a bottle of vodka. she was too hot to question it.
So our bartender was in the bathroom the same time I was so I ordered a beer mid stream.....is that weird?
I should've known a straight guy wouldn't know all the words to Moana
Randomize
