It's like sexual therapy. We hooked up. And now were talking about our recent breakups.
Emoooo
Getting high on the stoop of a brownstone in the middle oh harlem. Doesn't get much more hey arnold than this.
So what if i ate it off the ground. Its like i found a five dollar bill just laying there, in burrito form.
You'd think me telling him that I'm a lesbian would make him realize that I don't want to hook up with him.
I'don't know who your are but its that time a day. Drunk it up. Did you buy a House for goundhogs days?
I found out that they tried to reenact the Snooki drop by using a jump rope and the banister. Pictures say it all.
You owe me $8 for the carwash I needed after you threw the salmon on my windshield.
If you ever find a dick that big chop it off and bring it to me.
Tried to dry my shoes in the oven last night.
I think it may of been me pulling down my pants is why she walked away.
There's a time and a place for everything. Except for getting wasted at a work event, puking in the parking lot, and sleeping in your car overnight.
Because guys aren't supposed to cry. Especially when it's over a dude singing a Christmas carol.
Should I go sleeveless of strapless?
Hmmm, it doesn't matter. You're gonna be topless by the end of it.
He ate me out while Space Jam was on. My life is complete.
just got permission to expense a nerf gun
Randomize
