i'm pretty sure you said "blowjob marathon" lastnight
i totally said that
so when he was about to cum, he screamed his mother's name and continued to pray for forgiveness. wtf
the first sign of life we got from you was four hours later. you smiled without opening your eyes when tom whispered in your ear we were getting buffalo wings.
he kept doing his monologue, "if a vagina could talk."
The bouncer yelled at him for poking at the guy selling roses, I think it's time to leave.
he broke off your car antennae to use as a walking stick before he smoked because he claimed to lack the facial strength needed to open his eyes when he's high
What kind of costume was that supposed to be??
I'm an orgasm trader!
Ack! That is the first dick pic I've ever received. A) congrats B) that is way grosser than I ever thought t would be.
It's fun yes. But hard on the body. I woke up with her purse, socks and one of her shoes in my room. The other shoe was outside. What the fuck were we doing last night?
My drug dealer bought me a book for Christmas. What a gentleman.
Wet should excavate the hamsters out of the front yard n give them a proper burial.
You should come over tomorrow. Wine, pizza and my vagina. Those are all great things.
You sat on me. Like I was a toilet. While I was on the toilet. You peed a little.
You don't get to call me bro after you've had your dick in me.
You know you're out of shape when you're sore after masturbating.
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