I'm not to broken up about it. Our relationship was worse than a coldplay song.
I'm so bored, I can only pretend that this truck is a spaceship for so long.
The hospital said it would be 'irresponsible' for them to allow people to book stomach pumps.
she just walked in and said "well, I got peed on again"...
I don't know what happened to get you in this mentality. This time last year your were ass up on a hotel bathroom counter getting licked by a stranger.
If this week is any indication of my life here I've got to get out ASAP. My liver can't hack it.
I have cobwebs on my vagina for halloween. And bats fly out when I open my legs.
I'm the kind of gay who carries his anxiety medication in case the club scene gets too fierce
my birth father cheated on his wife with my birth mother. it's literally in my blood to be a home wrecker.
I'm hosting my annual valentine's day party tomorrow with every hookup I've ever had. thoughts on how it will turn out ??
He stuck a cigarette in my butt last night. There is no coming back from that.
One of your 'guests' left her bra in the kitchen.
Dude, does it look like any of the women I bring home wear bras?
Also I literally googled "how to fold socks" so that's how my day is going. How's yours?
How high are you rn
Well I just ate a cheesecake straight from the box with a fork and now I’m laying upside down in a recliner chair seeing if I can Uber eats Doritos
So not that high
He's the first boyfriend I wouldn't cheat on. This is a really big deal for me
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