I'm at the bar and I just saw some unnecessary and accidental cooter...sometimes I think girls need a license to go out pantyless in public.
Don't worry about it. I've taken so much Plan B, my uterus is purely for show now.
My dora the explorer band aid does not cover up the shame i feel right now
After he convinced me that my friend had died and come back to life, I decided I was having sex with him that night, and that I should lay off the drugs for a while.
the repo guy said it was the first time he'd ever started to repo a car with someone fucking inside of it. he might have said 'doing it' instead.
Yeah, clearly. And then we can float around my room on Christmas themed inner tubes. And drink, I guess.
You know i'm the father figure
Yeah the father who ate her out with me last night. Great dad
I have a lot of questions this morning, most of them start with "Did I..."
If I'm walking weird, don't judge me. Things got kinda outta hand with the GoPro on.
Good. Go forth, young stallion. Destroy the vaginal region with your tidy crotch.
he appreciated my fucking vagina for two hours he can appreciate my honesty
I'm gonna tell the medical examiner that your cause of death was over-arousal.
Just set the kids up with doughnuts downstairs so I could go up and masturbate uninterrupted. I am such a good mom.
Nothing says hangover like being in the doctors office getting a tampon removed from deep inside
I told him it was fine and then I keyed his car.
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