I'm almost 25, which means I can ride with girls that have permits
Thanksgiving. A stoners favorite holiday
He started making shapes and faces with his cock and balls.... apparently if you wrap the shaft with your balls and turn it 90 degrees to the left it looks like a hamburger
first day of class and my professor asked me if i was going to come to class drunk all semester.
did you seriously make the punch out of vodka and food coloring
Dude, you walked in on me 5 times each times you had a different person with you. And each time you lifted the covers up and said 'whats going on in here'
This is the most scared i've been of my hands since i did shrooms.
You have not lived until you've seen your mother stumble into the house with one shoe on mumbling incoherently about tequila cupcakes.
i know i should keep better track of the things that i put in your vagina but i've put so many things in there it's hard to keep track
Just peed off a cliff while playing white snake on my phone. Close enough?
I'm trying to make sure he doesn't drown in the toilet. Because I'm a nice lady.
PUT DOWN THE JOINT AND STEP AWAY FROM THE TRUSTAFARIAN
Dude we just exchanged Zelda related pickup lines. I fell in love at "you can blow on my ocarina"
don't do laundry while your drunk! i found a ketchup bottle & clothes hanger in the washer this morning!
woke up this morning to a baggy full of adderall and two redbulls..i'm gonna marry this guy one day
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