Being alone has allowed me to flourish into a complete weirdo
You should never have let annie watch you have sex with other women
If I were trying to take advantage of you I would have maxed out all your credit cards by now.
I may have discovered that porn hub is on my top visited sites during class this morning.
Got laid in my rudolph onesie for the second year in a row. New tradition? Absolutely.
He used the panoramic camera on his iPhone to take a picture of his dick. And it actually filled it. Pretty sure I just came.
You fell out of the chair and then lifted your foot saying, "If my foot could give you the middle finger it would."
I think we need to stage a munchie intervention for Ben. I just watched him use a tortilla as a potholder to dump water out of his ramen.
Being engaged is strange. I looked at my cock this morning and said, "we did alright these last 32 years, right?"
He overslept for our prescheduled morning sex. The fact that my vagina isn't enough to get him out of bed was the last straw.
I'm currently deliberating if I'm going to be too drunk on New Years to handle wearing false eyelashes.
He just made this face while he was fucking me and he looked like the hunchback of Notre Dame, I had to stop him.
Did a 4 pm walk of GLORY the next day.
Get ready for me I'm full of tequila and I want to be full of you next
Is there a number of dicks a girl can have in a weekend before it becomes unacceptable? Asking for a friend
Remember! It’sa long weekend and a holiday weekend and it’s America’s birthday! So don’t short change me!
I thought you were asking for a friend
Randomize
