I haven't been laid since Bush was president.
So he said if we had sex he'd take me to Build A Bear. My virginity is so worth a trip to build a bear.
You're 20.
IT'S BUILD A BEAR!
I kept grabbing at Stephanie's boobs because I thought the leopard spots on her dress were popcorn.
I don't remember how we paid for the cab. I do however remember giving him my heels 2 help with the bill.
stop calling me dude. finger blasting me officially kills you being able to call me dude.
she asked me where ive been her entire life and the guy in the room next to us yelled "with other women bitch!"
At some point you realize they're vacuuming and you still have to sober up. Please find me a boyfriend thanks .
Denis dont give a fuck, Denis drinks out of straws. Denis disregards the fire station & bought 18 fire hoses so he can fight it himself if the farmhouse is on fire.
A kid in my class today just asked if we have class on the 17th, then announced that he couldn't go anyways because it was the day after his 21 and he was going to be too hungover
OH MY GOD THE LITTLE GIRL IS SITTING WITH US WHILE WE SMOKE. I'M NOT DOING THIS
Ok. I'm gonna smoke some weed and look at some elephants without you then.
Okay, so when I go to meet your grandma, let's do a quick cum check to we don't have another "what's that on your face?" situation.
Swear to god, somebody just drove by with mickey mouse in their passenger seat and he waved at me.
Access to a Target is paramount to my general happiness and self-worth.
BITCH IT IS YOUR BIRTHDAY AND I'M STARTING ON A FISHBOWL OF LIQUOR WITHOUT YOU
I read that out. Group response is "Katie is hard as fuck."
WITH MOTHERFUCKING MONKEY MITTENS
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